These new family dynamics carry greater relational and conversational complexities than they would in cases of infant adoption or even child adoption. In some ways, they also present bigger questions for couples considering adoption.

In talking with Debra and Tom Crittenden, an adoptive couple of teen siblings with Bethany Christian Services, it’s clear that adopting older teens is beautiful and messy and complicated — as any family is — and so worth it.

The Crittendens always considered adopting, especially after Debra saw adoption modeled by family friends growing up. Once Debra and Tom realized they couldn’t have biological children, it was clear that God was leading them to grow their family through adoption.

Tom says, “By the time we got very serious about it, we were looking at the ages and thinking, ‘Well, maybe we need to be thinking about older kids at this point instead of having kids graduating from high school when we are retiring.’ So we decided at that point that we’d start looking at older children in foster care adoption.”

(Photo courtesy of Debra and Tom Crittenden)

Bethany connected the Crittendens with Mark and Lexy, a brother and sister who waited in foster care for four years for adoptive parents.

“The caseworkers told us that they don’t often get a really, really, really strong feeling about a match, but they really, really, really wanted us to meet Mark and Lexy!”

Debra and Tom eventually adopted the teenaged siblings through Bethany. Suddenly, they went from a family of two to four.

“They were literally the only kids we met during this process and the only kids that lived with us,” Tom says. “So it was very much God’s plan that Mark and Lexy come to be with us because it clicked in very fast when we started on this process.”

There have been challenges along the way. For one, social media complicates boundaries, identity questions, and privacy issues for teens adopted from foster care. And Debra and Tom also worried about helping the kids save for college in just a few years.

(Photo courtesy of Debra and Tom Crittenden)

However, Tom points out, “There is all kinds of financial aid that you wouldn’t necessarily expect when you start on this…. Particularly when you adopt older children, there are a lot of credits that are specifically available for that reason. It can make the financial strain much easier to handle and kind of give you a leg-up on getting that college fund together.”

Even the cost of adoption itself often deters would-be adoptive parents from pursuing it. But Debra says, “We had no idea [of] all the financial aids that were out there until we were already adopting them. We were just amazed at how we did not spend even close to the amount of money we thought we were going to have to spend.”

Debra and Tom both agree they love sharing new experiences with Mark and Lexy.

“We went to Sedona and the Grand Canyon [and] a lot of national parks over there and ended up in Vegas,” Debra says. “Then we just took them out of the country about a month ago on a cruise in the Caribbean.”

Tom says, “It’s been good to see their reaction to those sorts of things and having those sorts of opportunities and watching them blossom a little bit and see their eyes open to things that they can do and the prospects that are potentially in their future.”

(Photo courtesy of Debra and Tom Crittenden)

To any couples considering adoption or even foster care, Debra and Tom encourage a willingness to ask questions and to avoid making decisions out of fear.

At Bethany, they walk adoptive couples and children through counseling and aid in the journey of bonding as a family.

“You should not feel daunted by the process,” Tom says. “It’s very easy going through the training and they will talk to you very candidly about all the things these kids may have gone through.

“It’s going to be its own relationship. It will be maybe not necessarily what you expect it to be. You shouldn’t go in with too many expectations. But we have a great relationship with the kids! You know, it’s teenagers, there’s the usual teenage stuff. But…don’t be scared by the challenges that are obviously going to be in your mind when you’re thinking about adopting.”

(Photo courtesy of Debra and Tom Crittenden)

Debra adds, “I also would say don’t be scared of sibling groups. One thing I thought is that I wanted to have a sibling group because then that way, they have each other…. They have someone already there that understands where they’ve been and understands what they’re going through.”

Most importantly, adoptive families also need the support of other believers to show Jesus to their kids.

“We have the kids involved in our church youth group,” Tom says. “A vibrant youth group is good for the Church in general, and something for teenagers to go and participate and get to meet some kids through the Church…. That’s as important as anything, is just having that support.”

Is God leading you to make adoption part of your family’s story?

If you’re interested in adoption resources through Bethany, click here to learn more at their website!

Header photo courtesy of Debra and Tom Crittenden.

“We’ve had the same materials around for years,” Bethany’s President Chris Palusky says.

“People, they’ve known us for domestic infant adoption… but people don’t seem to know about just these other areas that we have been working in. Domestic infant adoption is about 13 percent of our work. But working with refugees is about 40 percent of our work; working in the foster care [and] in the foster care adoption space is over 40 percent of our work.”

Rebranding

One of Bethany’s goals in rebranding their organization is to give a better picture of their work.

To do that, they first redesigned their logo. Their new logo is now a big ‘B’ with a cross as a part of it.

(Photo courtesy of Bethany Christian Services via Facebook)

Palusky says the idea that fueled this logo was to make it identifiable and easier to point beneficiaries in the right direction while Bethany workers are in the field assisting them.

“People could say, ‘Go to the big ‘B’ with the cross in it,’” Palusky says.

Bethany has also revamped their website to better reflect the number of programs they have and the different ways volunteers can get involved — whether it’s through praying, giving, refugee work, foster care, or adoption.

“But there’s so much more,” Palusky says.

“So, one of the reasons that we’re going through this rebrand is to say this is what Bethany is about. We are the gritty Christians. We always have been and we always will be. And, we’re in the middle of the mess. We’re in the middle of the foster care crisis. We’re in the middle of the unaccompanied minor crisis, and we’re in the middle of the global refugee crisis.

“We’re in the middle of the mess as the gritty Christians because that’s where we believe Christ would want us to be.”

In the Midst of the Mess

Bethany is in their 75th year and the organization has grown immensely. Marguerite Bonnema and Mary DeBoer originally founded Bethany in 1944. Palusky says they are described as being tough as nails.

They first assisted one child, then two, then three, and the number of children continued to grow, as did the number of their programs. As they grew, they kept in mind that family is the solution.

(Photo courtesy of Bethany Christian Services via Facebook)

Bethany has maintained Bonnema and Deboer’s mentality of ‘being in the mess,’ working with the most vulnerable people in the world, and keeping families together.

With the organization’s rebrand, Bethany wants to ensure that their materials, their approach, and their future work consistently reflect this to partners and beneficiaries, as well as the different fields they work in and plan to work in.

Palusky says alongside the media changes of their logo and website, Bethany will begin to change the way they speak about their programs.

“You’re going to see us talking more about how we’re working in these difficult places — be it domestically, be it on the border, or be it internationally…. I think you’ll see more of the breadth of what we’re doing, rather than just one service line.”

Bethany will continue expanding their work with in-country adoptions, in-country foster care, and working with unaccompanied refugee minors domestically and internationally.

Visit Bethany’s new website and find ways you can get involved on a local or global scale today. Get started here.

Header photo courtesy of Bethany Christian Services.

Their foster-to-adopt program began in 2010 and has already placed nearly 400 children into local homes.

Foster-to-Adopt in Ethiopia

“We basically believe that every child should be raised in a family and they need a family to belong to. The idea of taking care of children in childcare institutions has been there for a long time. It was one of the widely practiced form[s] of care for many years,” Bethany’s Sebilu Bodja says.

According to UNICEF, there are about 4.6 million orphaned or half-orphaned children in the nation. Children are often abandoned by their parents because they can’t afford to raise them. Other times, parents have passed away from diseases or the children have run away from home. Because of this, orphanages are packed and children receive little attention.

(Photo courtesy of Bethany Christian Services via Facebook)

Before introducing Bethany’s foster-to-adopt program, it was unheard of in Ethiopia to take care of an unrelated child.

However, their program has raised awareness of the need. Through its satellite program, Bethany has worked to recruit families.

“It impacted the lives of children in such a way that now they have a family to call their own,” Bodja says.

“We have seen significant change in their development — whether that’s physical, spiritual, emotional, psychological — and we’ve seen children thriving in their new families. For the foster parents, what we keep hearing from many families is they have been able to see what God has called them to be as a family to a child.”

The individual care that children have received from families helps kids grow and develop. It helps them process previous trauma they have experienced and deal with their grief.

Change in Communities

Entire communities are also changing as foster care grows in their neighborhoods and they begin to understand the program more fully.

“Previously, there was an attitude among the community that caring for the children is more of a business of the Western; it’s a business of NGO[s],” Bethany’s Dawit Fekadu says.

Fekadu says communities’ attitudes have started to change. They are now becoming part of the solution and putting kids into safe foster homes.

Due to the success of the program, there are requests from the federal and regional governments to start programs in different communities. Bethany is also partnering with a state-run orphanage in Addis Ababa to help place children.

(Photo courtesy of Bethany Christian Services via Facebook)

Bodja says both the orphanage and the government are relying on the program to give children a good family and home.

“The need is huge,” Fekadu says. “There is a greater need in every region of the country.”

With the Ethiopian government’s decision to end international adoption in 2018, this has increased the need for native families to rise up and become home to the ever-growing number of children in orphanages.

“We foresee that there is a huge potential for this program to grow in the future,” Fekadu says.

As Bethany expands their work — placing more children and expanding to more cities — they would love for you to partner with them!

It takes $1,000 to place a child in a loving, Christian family in Ethiopia. This will forever change the lives of children, families, and entire communities. Start supporting Bethany’s work in Ethiopia here.

Meanwhile, please pray for foster kids in Ethiopia to know their Heavenly Father. Ask God to reveal Himself to these children through their Christian foster parents. Finally, pray for more Ethiopian believers to rise up and be the love of Jesus through foster care.

Header photo courtesy of Bethany Christian Services.

Bethany Christian Services’ Kim Offut says, “This is a time for us to really bring awareness to the number of children who are in foster care across the nation. So that’s why we have this month — to bring awareness, but to also identify families who are willing to step forward to be foster families.”

Statistics on Foster Children

Children’s Rights reports there are about 443,000 kids in foster care at any given time. However, the number of kids who spend time in the system throughout the year is much higher.

For instance, in 2017, there were more than 690,000 kids who spent time in foster care.

“Children who are in foster care, if I can just kind of explain how they enter foster care, they’ve been abused or neglected in their birth family home. So there’s a temporary situation that is happening in their family home that prevents them from remaining at home,” Offut says.

Of these children, about 70 percent are school-aged, and about 23,000 age out of the system every year.

For those children who do not have a biological or foster family walking alongside them, they are forced to begin providing for themselves entirely.

“Literally, at the age of 18, the doors of the foster care system are [closed] and you’re expected, at that age, to really figure life out on your own. You don’t have a family. You don’t have that foster family. You don’t have that place to call home. Some of our kids have not even graduated from high school. They’ve never held jobs. They just don’t know what to do with their lives.”

National Foster Youth Institute reports that 20 percent of kids who age out of the system will immediately become homeless. Less than three percent of kids who age out will earn a college degree, and many kids will be incarcerated or die within one year after aging out of the system.

Amarillo reported on statistics provided by Arrow. The statistics showed 80 percent of the prison population had once been in the foster system, and girls who were in the foster system are 600 percent more likely to become pregnant by the age of 21 than girls who were not in the system

“Then that cycle just continues and continues to repeat itself,” Offut says, as girls often send their children back into the system.

Bethany’s Foster Program

(Photo courtesy of Bethany Christian Services via Facebook)

Bethany sees that placing kids into loving, Christian foster homes before they age out is important because it tends to give kids better chances in life.

“When you have a family — whether that is your biological family or if it’s a temporary foster family — the outcomes for our children [and] the future is much brighter because they have that safety, that security.”

Bethany’s goal for their foster care program is to place children in temporary, safe homes. Once the situation is safe again, they place the children back with their biological families.

However, since there are more than 400,000 children in foster care at any given time, there is a great need for foster families.

“There is a need there. We need more families to step forward to open up their hearts and their homes to kids who are in foster care.”

Offut shares that her family has been foster parents to many kids before, giving them safety and love, and they’ve even adopted.

(Photo courtesy of Bethany Christian Services)

“You are making a difference,” she says.

“I see families come forward and they say they want to foster as many kids as they can. They want to love on as many kids as they can and really make an impact on a child’s life… They’re making that impact because that child remembers you. They remember your kindness. They remember the warm meals.”

If you feel moved to act as a foster parent or family, pray. Pray for the Lord’s guidance and for the children in the system. Then, take your next step with Bethany and help be a loving, Christian home to kids who need you.

Header photo courtesy of Bethany Christian Services.

Bethany Christian Services is celebrating it with those who have gone through the adoption process like Stephanie Bernet.

“My story goes super far back. It’s kind of a unique one. Adoption has been a major part of my life,” Bernet says.

“My parents were unable to have children. So, they looked into adoption and they actually met my birth mother three months before I was born. So, the whole thing was pretty planned.”

Bernet’s adoptive parents formed a relationship with her birth mother and landed on the decision to have a semi-open adoption, this would entail sending pictures and letters every few months to update her on how Bernet was doing.

Bernet was born in September and when December rolled around, her adoptive mother was going to send the first batch of photos and letters, but she decided because of the close proximity, that Bernet’s birthmother should visit.

An Open Adoption

“I’m 26 years old. Back in 1992, it wasn’t quite as common for adoptions to be completely open,” Bernet says. “But my birthmother came over and saw me. My mom let her take me upstairs and sing me to bed, and ever since then, my adoption has been completely open.”

She says this relationship was uniquely special and she was extremely fortunate to have three parents who loved her and were open with her.

This was especially helpful as she grew up. Bernet says when she was an adoptee, kids could be mean and believed the stereotype that her birth mother gave her up because she didn’t want her.

Bernet says she could look to her birth mother who was always there to explain why she chose adoption and answer her questions.

“It just created a really wonderful environment growing up, knowing why she chose adoption, knowing that it wasn’t because she didn’t care about me. It wasn’t because she didn’t want me. It was truly because she didn’t feel at that time in her life, she could provide me with the life that she wanted me to have.”

She says that since her birthmother was present, she had an extra person who loved her and supported her at every school play and soccer game.

Today, Bernet says they still see each other once a month.

“We have a truly, truly special relationship.”

When Bernet was 20, she finally decided to reach out and meet her birth father.

“I sat down with my adoptive father and just kind of asked how he felt about it because I didn’t want him to feel that I was searching for my ‘long lost’ father. I had a wonderful father. I was just kind of curious. Half of me came from a human being that I had never even seen a picture of before,” Bernet says.

She reached out to him and they met.

“We sat down and he immediately just broke down and he apologized.”

Bernet says he had been very nervous leading up to their first meeting and thought she would have feelings of resentment or hatred towards him.

“My adoptive parents did such an amazing job with the way they raised me and the way they taught me about adoption, that I never had a single negative feeling towards him.”

She and her birthfather have grown in their relationship over the last six years, and last year for her birthday, her biological parents took her out for lunch together.

(Photo courtesy of Stephanie Bernet – Bernet and her birth parents)

“It was the first time they had seen each other since the day I was born,” Bernet says.

“I can’t even imagine how nerve-wracking that was for them… For them to put all of those nerves and those feelings aside because it was something that they knew it would mean so much to me, I could never thank them enough for what they did for me when I was born [and] for that really special day a year ago.”

Bernet says the gift of adoption made this possible.

Both Sides of the Adoption Spectrum

However, Bernet has experienced both sides of the adoption spectrum.

“A cool little twist to my story is that at 19, I actually found myself pregnant and I was in the exact same situation that my birth mother was in,” she says.

“I called my adoptive parents right when I found out that I was pregnant. They were nothing but supportive. And then, I called my birthmother, and again, she was nothing but supportive. And having her while I was going through the process of choosing an adoption plan for my own child was the most helpful thing to have someone that had walked in those shoes.”

With the help of her birth mother and parents, she found parents for her son.

(Photo courtesy of Stephanie Bernet – Bernet and Jeremiah)

In August 2012, her son was born and now she has an open adoption with him and his parents.

Bernet says his parents named him Jeremiah after Jeremiah 29:11:

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Today, Bernet is involved with Bethany outreaches. She shares her story with other adoptees and adoptive parents, and she hopes to one day have a child of her own and adopt a child as well.

Celebrate the gift of adoption this month with Bethany.

Header photo courtesy of Stephanie Bernet.

Their work has truly changed lives in Ethiopia and looking ahead, it will change many more in other places in Africa.

“Our focus is to help struggling families keep their children and serve them through various services so that the family stays together and that kids continue to get care in loving families,” Bethany’s Director of Africa Operations, Sebilu Bodja shares. “While we’re doing that, we’re trying to prevent orphanhood. We’re trying to make sure that through our efforts, families out there… have an opportunity to stay together.”

Giving Homes to Vulnerable Children

(Photo courtesy of Bethany Christian Services via Facebook)

However, Bodja estimates there are around 10,000 children in orphanages. Some may be orphans, others may have been placed there because of family complications. On a larger scale, there are millions of vulnerable children in Ethiopia.

All these orphaned and vulnerable children are in need of a permanent family.

Bethany has come alongside children like this in Ethiopia. They have helped children find foster families and their vision is “for every child to have a chance to know the love of a forever family.”

Bethany introduced their foster-to-adopt program in Ethiopia to help create temporary and possibly permanent homes for children.

Bodja says foster care is an uncommon practice in the country. Families usually take in children who are related to them, such as a niece or nephew, but they rarely take in children who aren’t related to them.

However, since Bethany has introduced the program, they’ve seen great results and continue to bring children into loving, foster families.

The Good Practice Competition

Seeing the success, Bethany submitted their foster-to-adopt program to the Good Practice Competition held by the Consortium of Christian Relief & Development Associations (CCRDA).

The CCRDA is an umbrella organization of NGOs in Ethiopia. Their Good Practice Competition invites NGOs from around the country to submit programs that are helping to support orphaned and vulnerable children.

“That competition’s purpose is to allow various NGOs to submit what they consider as the best practice in hopes that those practices gain the attention of both the NGO community, the international community, and also the Ethiopian government, and those practices can be replicated around Ethiopia,” Bodja explains.

“Bethany submitted the foster-to-adopt program as the best practice. One because it’s a very innovative, new program, in a way, to our culture in that we’ve been able to successfully place 183 children in Ethiopian families.”

Bodja says more than 56 concept programs and projects were submitted by different organizations around the country, but Bethany’s foster-to-adopt program placed first in the competition.

Now, Bethany is being looked at as a leading organization with groundbreaking programs – and not just in Ethiopia. Their foster-to-adopt program has caught the attention of other countries who are now requesting Bethany’s help.

Spreading Foster Care around Africa

(Photo courtesy of Bethany Christian Services via Facebook)

“We’re getting so many requests from different countries because of our work here in Ethiopia and that as we try to stretch ourselves to meet needs around Africa, we would gladly… be encouraged to receive the support of our listeners, and various people, and others that can join us in the important work of putting and keeping children in families,” Bodja says.

Earlier this year, Ethiopia banned international adoptions. This has enlarged the need for Bethany’s program now more than ever.

“This has increased the need for us to support more children in country, the need for us to expand the foster-to-adopt program, and also increase the efforts of orphanhood, which we do through family preservation and empowerment.”

Please pray for Bethany as they work to develop systems and services to best help children in Ethiopia and around Africa. Pray that their work will lead many children to have permanent homes with families that can show them the love of Christ.

Learn more about Bethany’s efforts in Ethiopia here.

The proposal to cut the adoption tax credit was unveiled by House Republicans two weeks ago as part of a 429-page tax reform. But the proposal to repeal this credit caused an uproar from groups on both sides of the aisle. From the Christian community, Focus on the Family and Steven Curtis and Mary Beth Chapman were among those who spoke out against its repeal.

The adoption tax credit has been available for the past 20 years. With this break, adoptive families can be credited up to $13,460 after their taxes.

Kris Faasse, Senior Vice President of Clinical Operations at Bethany Christian Services, explains, “The tax credit is not a deduction. It’s actually a credit that someone gets when they get done with all of their other taxes. And the adoption tax credit, which is indexed for inflation and is now over $13,000, it’s really meant to help families who bring a child into their family through adoption with either the cost of adoption or the cost of just bringing that child into your family and accessing the necessary medical or psychological treatment that kids might need.”

Without the adoption tax credit, Faasse points out the cost of adoption would be overbearing for many families.

“The average cost depends on the type of adoption first and foremost and then it depends on the state where the adoption is taking place because adoption law and requirements are state law. Generally, adoption of a child out of foster care is at no cost to the adoptive parent or at very low cost because those kids are the wards of the state and it’s certainly in the interest of the state to have those kids move into a permanent family.

“Domestic, infant adoption can range anywhere from say $25,000, I’ve heard of some agencies in some states that may charge up to $50,000. Intercountry adoption is also in that range, and that is very much impacted by the travel cost to the country where the child is and the fees that might be charged by that country as well as any expenses to pay for the staff and the process here in the states. So again, it’s a range.”

However, even for families that adopt a child in foster care, they can still face substantial costs. “Kids who’ve been in foster care who are available for adoption are in foster care because of abuse and/or neglect. So they come with hurts and traumas that families need to and want to address, and the tax credit makes that more possible because not everything is covered by insurance. A lot has to come out-of-pocket.”

While the adoption tax credit is here to stay, Faasse says the conversations it has generated should serve as a reminder to the Church of our biblical mandate to care for orphans.

“We’ve always seen a role for the Church in wrapping around families, having adoption ministries, providing that ongoing support for families…. We know a lot of churches may step in and help with fundraisers for the family to meet the cost of adoption.”

Bethany has several opportunities for you and your church to get involved in caring for orphans and vulnerable children. In doing so, you can be a tangible extension of Christ’s love and grace in a kid’s life. Click here to learn more at Bethany’s website!

For National Adoption Awareness Month, they shared their adoption story.

When the Schnyder’s decided it was time to start a family, they learned that they couldn’t have biological children. But this isn’t where their adoption story began. In fact, for Beth, it started several years earlier.

(Photo courtesy of Bethany Christian Services)

She says, “For me, that was just fine. [God] had placed adoption on my heart at a very young age and I had been open and willing to do that for quite some time.”

But Harold had a few reservations about the adoption. He explains that a lot of it grew out of a misunderstanding about what adoption, particularly open adoption, looked like in reality.

Reservations about adoption

Growing up, he witnessed at least one open adoption in his church. The adoptive parents invited the child’s birth mother to church, and she often joined them.

“It was always rather mysterious to me how that all worked,” Harold says. He wondered if there were any disputes between the parents and birth mother about raising the child.

His concerns seem pretty reasonable and are probably not all that uncommon.

“I didn’t know what to expect for some child that wasn’t mine because … I think we all have possibly an idolatrous view of what we would wish in a child. We would like them, maybe, to look a whole lot like us and I don’t doubt that was rattling around in my head as well.

“And it was the skepticism of my broader family and other people that I knew that surely got into my head as well. They had not been first-party to an adoption before. They had witnessed it from afar.”

Some of these people had strong opinions on the subject and it made Harold a bit hesitant.

But the couple decided to start the process anyway.

Everything changed…

Beth says, “We were both very excited about what God was going to do through this and our first daughter came April 4, 2000. And I would say—and Harold would probably say—definitely yes that once we brought her home, he had no hesitation about adoption at all after that.”

(Picture courtesy Bethany Christian Services)

As with any new child, there were some growing pains. Beth says they had to work through challenges specifically related to the open aspect of the adoption. With their daughter came new relationships with her birth mother, sister, and grandparents. But through these relationships, God opened their eyes to the struggles of other people and grew their compassion. Their child’s biological family became their family, too.

“And since then, we just felt, again and again, God calling us to just try it again,” Beth says.

And it turns out, adoption is contagious. Neither Beth’s nor Harold’s families had a history of adoption. It was unfamiliar territory for them. But now, a spirit of adoption has infiltrated Beth’s family. Both of her sisters and their husbands have now adopted.

“Altogether there are nine on my side of the family that have been adopted,” Beth says.

An unexpected blessing

More recently, the Beth and Harold adopted a baby girl. But unlike the other adoptions, this baby came as a total surprise.

Beth says, “This one, we were not planning on, and we actually hadn’t done any paperwork nor taken any steps. But the Lord knew. And what happened was our son, who’s our fifth child, he was three—had just recently turned three, and his birth mom told us that she was pregnant again and still in a tough situation, still feeling like she couldn’t adequately provide for this child.”

She asked the Schnyders if they would be open to “parenting another munchkin.” At first, they didn’t know how to respond.

“We just took time to pray for a couple of weeks and asked many people to pray for us. We are not young. We are 48. So that was in the back of our minds. And it was just amazing throughout that two-week period the Bible verses that came to mind or that we opened up the Bible and they appeared.”

She references Psalm 127:3 which says, “Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward.” Even the story of Abraham and Sarah having a child at their old age reminded them, they really aren’t that old. They also trusted in the teaching of Philippians 4:13 which proclaims that Christ’s strength makes all things possible in our lives.

So after those two weeks, they knew that the answer was yes.

“I wouldn’t say it’s been easy. We’re very busy but she brings us so much joy as well and we’re just so thankful,” she says.

Adoption through Bethany

The Schnyders were familiar with Bethany Christian Services because their church supported the ministry. They liked that it was a Christian ministry and after six adoptions through Bethany, they’ve never had any reason to look for another agency.

(Logo courtesy of Bethany Christian Services)

“We believe the help we received was competent and correct. And we also think that the birth parents received good counsel from there.”

Bethany isn’t just focused on the legal aspect of things, but they also counsel the birth parents who are struggling.

Adoption: a picture of salvation

We asked the couple how much their faith interplayed with their decision to adopt, and their understanding of it after.

Not without emotion, Beth says, “Before adopting, we knew that we were adopted, spiritually adopted, that we call God our Father, that we are his children.”

In other words, they knew that adoption was a picture of the Gospel. But after actually adopting their own children, this picture took on much more meaning for them.

Harold says, “We’re not naturally members of his household because we walked away from it and we’re received back in through Jesus’ work and given all the benefits of that household.”

Adoption didn’t just give them a deeper understanding of their relationship with God, it deepened their faith so that they adopted again and again when they felt God calling them to it.

Encouragement to those considering adoption

Have you considered adoption, but feel like you don’t have all your ducks in a row? Maybe you’re not sure that you’ve been uniquely equipped for adoption. Or, you are just scared to take a risk. Making the decision to adopt should never be done lightly. The Schnyders share some advice on how to navigate the uncertainty.

(Photo courtesy of Bethany Christian Services)

Harold says, “You can’t always discern what the end of something is from the beginning. In adoption, it’s well to not think too far ahead, but rather to be willing to take the first obvious step.”

He explains that if you’re waiting until you can see clear to the end of the process, you’ll likely never begin. Part of that is because we are only human and cannot possibly anticipate all the outcomes of a decision. The other part is that God has mysteriously and divinely orchestrated each adoption story.

“Now what holds a lot of people up perhaps is the idea that they have to be utterly sorted out on all the details. And I say that that’s never the way that you ever approach any challenge that’s before you. You always take the first step and you pray ardently about it,” Harold says.

That may mean scheduling your home for an inspection. They suggest you go for it and see what happens. By starting somewhere with prayer, you’ll know soon enough if God is opening or shutting doors. God has done both for Beth and Harold, allowing them to adopt the children they were meant to have, and keeping them from adopting children who are meant for a different family.

Beth says, “Bottom line … God is sovereign, and just take the steps as [Harold] said and God will either continue to open doors or close them.”

Now for the other issue: you’re convinced that you’re an ordinary person, unequipped for the special call to adoption. But maybe that’s the wrong way to look at it. Take it from Harold:

“We’re not superhuman. We collapse into bed at the end of the day. We perhaps wouldn’t have regarded ourselves as gifted specially for this and indeed don’t regard this being able to adopt these children as the ultimate act of service that anyone could do.”

He continues, saying, “We would like it to be well understood that this is an enterprise for average people because we don’t have an average God. We have a superior, supreme God. So I hope that that would be an encouragement to those who think that you need special characteristics to be adoptive parents. I would like to say that that is not the case. If special characteristics are required, they are given to you as meets the occasion and as they are requested from our all-knowing and fantastically rich God who can gift us with anything that is required.”

If you’d like to learn more about adoption, consider speaking to a Bethany Christian Services representative. To get connected, click here.

Jen Hatmaker Speaks at Fundraiser

Jen Hatmaker shares her son’s story of adoption at Bethany Global’s first fundraiser, Impacting Lives Across the Globe. (Photo Courtesy Beth Stolicker)

The fundraiser, held in an auditorium in downtown Grand Rapids, MI, brought in Christian blogger, Jen Hatmaker, as the keynote speaker. The auditorium was filled with both Bethany fans and Jen Hatmaker fans.

However, this fundraiser had a couple of goals. First, to tell the world about Bethany Global, what it does, and to tell others that there is a way to solve the orphan crisis—through family preservation.

“So Bethany Global is the international arm of Bethany Christian Services. So, what you know about Bethany Christian Services is very similar to what we do at Bethany Global– family preservation, counseling, foster care, adoption,” Bethany Global’s Vice President of Global Programs, Kristi Gleason, explains.

“We do all of that just like Bethany Christian Services, we just do it in 17* countries around the world.”

Making Orphans

Often times, families have been ripped apart because of poverty, war, and mental health issues. These families don’t have a safety net or government programs to help them get back on their feet when life knocks them down. Because of this, parents are sometimes forced to give their children up to orphanages just so that their children can survive.

Needless to say, children who are made into orphans suffer unspeakable pain. And it’s this pain that brought Jen Hatmaker to the Bethany Global stage. Hatmaker, who has two adopted children, has watched her kids struggle with this pain.

Hatmaker’s Story

Jen Hatmaker shares her son’s story of adoption at Bethany Global’s first fundraiser, Impacting Lives Across the Globe. Hatmaker’s son reunited with his biological mother. (Photo Courtesy Beth Stolicker)

As Hatmaker shared her son’s story about coming to an orphanage at the age of five, not an eye in the room was dry. Hatmaker’s son’s biological mother sent her son to an orphanage not because she didn’t love him or didn’t want him. Instead, after fleeing an abusive and alcoholic husband, this woman was left with nothing.

Just before giving her son up, Hatmaker’s son’s mother was left with two options. Watch her son starve to death or leave him at an orphanage.

“Our great joy was on the heels of her great sorrow,” Hatmaker says. Does she love her son? Yes. Does he love her? Yes. But there is a trauma, a void, a piece of themselves that has been taken away from both Hatmaker’s son and her son’s biological mother.

But, through a beautiful twist of fate, Hatmaker and her husband were able to get in contact with their son’s biological mother. After visiting her on their own, they went back with their son because to Hatmaker, both he and his biological mother had a right to be reunited.

Still, kids who are orphaned don’t just suffer the loss of a family. They suffer the loss of extended relatives, their home, their friends, and even at times their language, culture, and country.

Orphan Prevention

“If we can help keep families together, if we can help keep kids be raised in their families of origin and not grow up on the streets, or not grow up in an orphanage where there’s no one to protect them, that’s what we’re really trying to avoid,” Gleason shares.

“And that’s why we really are focusing on this family preservation idea and project. And that it really is impactful, and it helps stop a whole lot of other problems that come sort of down the road if your family breaks apart.”

(Photo Courtesy Beth Stolicker) Jen Hatmaker shares her son’s story of adoption at Bethany Global’s first fundraiser, Impacting Lives Across the Globe. Hatmaker’s son reunited with his childhood best friend.

Bethany Global works on family preservation through the help and support of normal people who have a heart for the hurting. Through family sponsorships by Bethany Global, families who are at risk are provided with their basic needs.

Then, they’re provided with skills and economic empowerment training which includes job skills, financial management, parenting skills, decision-making for a better life, and human rights awareness and action. In other words, these families are given the tools they need to thrive.

Family Sponsorships

The family sponsorship takes five families donating $30 a month to sponsor one family across the world. Essentially, it’s families supporting families.

(Photo Courtesy Beth Stolicker) Jen Hatmaker shares her son’s story of adoption at Bethany Global’s first fundraiser, Impacting Lives Across the Globe. Hatmaker’s son reunited with and walking with his biological aunts and uncles.

“I want to see a whole lot of energy around family preservation. I want people to get involved and learn and read about the awesome things that are happening with families overseas,” Gleason shares.

“So, I’d love it if we could get 150 sponsorships just tonight alone. And that will help us serve more families. It will help us go into new areas. It will help us open up programs in other countries.”

However, the number of families needing sponsorship far exceeds the 150 goal. But, Bethany Global can’t start helping more families and bringing them into the family sponsorship program until others are taken care of first.

Still, meeting that 150 goal brings Bethany Global one step closer to helping more families in the future.

Will You Help?

So please remember, regardless of where a family is from, most if not all want the best for their children. And as Jen Hatmaker put it, if it’s not good enough for you, then it’s not good enough for your neighbor. Will you help?

And if sponsoring a family isn’t a possibility, you can still pray. Gleason says that Bethany Global needs prayer warriors. Pray for Bethany Global and families overseas who are struggling. Pray for peace and reconciliation in families, and for these families to get the sponsorship they need.

Help sponsor a family here!

Learn more about family preservation here!

*Bethany works towards helping children and keeping families together in the countries of Albania, Cambodia, China, Ethiopia, Ghana, Haiti, South Africa, Zambia, and much more with in-country child welfare services.

Hurricane Irma’s visible path. (Photo courtesy of Cayobo via Flickr https://flic.kr/p/XTVkqG)

With Irma’s predecessor Hurricane Harvey, Hurricane Jose not far behind, and major flooding meanwhile devastating South Asia, natural disasters have eaten up our newsfeeds. We’ve talked about how kids in disaster zones are being affected, but what about kids outside the disaster zones who hear what’s on the news and are still impacted?

Bethany Christian Services says, in particular, children who have been adopted from international countries may be experiencing some anxiety at this time related to the recent natural disasters. Catherine Lafler says Bethany is currently talking with adoptive families on how to address the needs of their kids.

“Children who have been placed internationally have experienced loss and trauma in their lives by the very nature of being adopted. So sometimes natural disasters when they’re seen on the news, when we talk about them in public, when it’s talked about at school or at home or at church it can trigger for those children a lot of memories of previous experiences.

(Photo courtesy of Bethany Christian Services via Facebook)

“Bethany is hoping to wrap around our children who have been adopted, help share information with their families [on] how they can talk about it [and] help children a little bit more in terms of the impact these natural disasters have and the memories it brings back up.”

Here are some tips for parents on a post-trauma response:

“We don’t always know the full history of our children. They were placed in orphanages and the information may be scarce because of the lack of system in place. So one of the things we’ve been talking to our families about is to expect the unknown, to know that there may be things that we don’t know about our children’s history and sometimes these events can trigger memories or concerns that we didn’t know that our children had.”

Lafler says parents can look for changes in behavior, whether the child is more reclusive or acting out more, to see if they are feeling stressed or anxious about the news of these disasters.

In addition to internationally adopted kids, there’s also the impact to consider on children who have family and friends in the natural disaster zones, children who feel close to the disaster in some way, and children who are hearing the natural disaster news discussed in their circles.

“We’re encouraging our families to talk to our children, not just to expose them to the news and assume that they’ll follow it the way that we do, to be very clear with things like the storm isn’t going to come here,” she says.

“We’re also asking families to be mindful that they may have fears about those families that are still at home also. Some of our children will have family, friends, relatives, they may be concerned about other children in the orphanages, so we recommend some talking and some support around that also.”

One big thing that can be helpful is to point kids towards the restoration and recovery efforts being made and to see how they can even be part of the solution.

1. Pray openly with your kids for those impacted by recent natural disasters.
2. Have your kids pick a charity to give to for disaster relief.
3. Get your kids involved in a donation drive or fundraising effort for disaster recovery.

“It may be that part of a recovery tool for some of these children is some outreach, you know, faith through doing, faith through action.”

Ultimately, Lafler says it about keeping the communication lines open with our kids and making it a conversation. Then, whatever their fears and worries, point them to the God of all comfort and even how they can be the hands and feet of Christ in the situation.

“I think most importantly for our children, it’s watching and observing them, talking them through what’s happening, staying patient and calm and keeping routines, making sure they’re well regulated. And if you become concerned about your children’s emotions, thinking about therapeutic support, first of all. But if this has been something that hasn’t been a severe trauma trigger…and it’s more just this call and desire to help, then a small project of some sort giving back, that may well be something that could help in healing.”