USA (MNN) — Statistically, people raised without a father are 2-3 times more likely to develop substance use problems.
Those working in recovery settings consistently observe a pattern. Brandon Bower of The Lighthouse Recovery Center says many men battling addiction lack an active father figure in their lives.
“Majority of men who are struggling with substance abuse do not have fathers, and or if they do have fathers, their fathers are distant and not active in their lives,” says Bower.
Man sitting (photo courtesy of Fagner Silva via Pexels)
Many of the men in recovery carry deep wounds from childhood. Bower says many experienced childhood sexual abuse and, without parental protection, turned to substances to numb the pain.
Recovery: physical, emotional, and spiritual
Recovery in this context goes beyond physical sobriety. Men are not only working through detox and rehabilitation, but also rebuilding their understanding of God as Father.
The ministry holds about 16 support groups each week, including one that specifically focuses on the father wound, the mother wound, and learning how to be a godly man.
Bower notes the emotional intensity many men face in the process: “There are times where guys get so angry in those groups, because there’s so much pent up anger and angst towards their family.”
Recovery of God’s image starts with an introduction to His love: “It starts with the Gospel. God loved you so much that He sent His Son to die for you,” says Bower, adding that sometimes it takes weeks or months until people fully understand the message.
Representative photo of a man praying (photo courtesy of RDNE Stock project via Pexels)
One 52-year-old man had gone through multiple rehab programs. At The Lighthouse, he finally confronted childhood sexual abuse his father failed to protect him from. That moment of confession released years of bottled-up anger — and brought hope.
Bower quotes him saying, “I’ve been to 20 other programs, and no one has addressed my sexual abuse as a child. Maybe that’s what I need to stop drinking.”
Bower explains that no other program was addressing the root causes and that they were only trying to deal with the addiction itself.
A call for churches to fill the gaps
Healing also includes practical restoration, as the ministry team teaches men everyday life skills.
“There are days,” says Bower, “where I’m in the bathroom showing a 21-year-old man how to shave, because no one has ever shown him how to shave.”
They also teach men how to manage finances, dress, and function in society — gaps often left by absent fathers. Bower says this is where the Church is called to step in, caring for the fatherless as Scripture commands and filling those gaps with love and practical skills.
Visit The Lighthouse to learn more and support their work helping men rebuild their lives in God’s fatherly love.
Header photo: Help sign (Photo courtesy of RDNE Stock project via Pexels).
