Michigan birth mom shares her side of the adoption story

By August 6, 2013

USA (MNN) — Mention the word “adoption” and people often think of the child, whose life is changed or needs to be changed by a “forever family.” Or, some think of a couple unable to bear children, whose lives are altered by their decision to adopt.

At Adoption Associates Inc., it's not just about adoption. (Image courtesy Adoption Associates Facebook page)

At Adoption Associates Inc., it’s not just about adoption. (Image courtesy Adoption Associates Facebook page)

But, have you ever wondered about the mom who places her child for adoption? According to birth mom *Lindsay, it’s an important side of the story.

“I think it’s [really] easy for people to see the joyful side [of adoption]: the adoptive family and their new child,” she says. “The birth mother side of it, you know, it either gets forgotten or not really seen.”

Her side of the adoption story began in late January 2012.

“I was living in upstate New York, I was engaged, and I discovered that I was pregnant,” says Lindsay. “At first, it was the normal, ‘Surprise!’ and ‘Oh my goodness!’ and you know, joyful.

“But a few weeks went by, and that joyfulness, on my fiancé’s end, turned into ‘You need to have an abortion.'”

Although Lindsay struggled with the choice, her fiancé had convinced her there were no other options. On Monday, she scheduled an abortion appointment.

“I’ll never forget this: early in March I made a phone call to my mom, back home in Michigan,” Lindsay says. “She said, ‘Oh Lindsay that is NOT your only option.'”

Lindsay’s mother had an abortion in the past, and “it was really important for my mom to let me know I had other options.”

Through her mother’s church, Lindsay was soon connected with Adoption Associates. The West Michigan-based group helped Lindsay see the possibilities.

“They never pressure you to make that decision, but I think they’re very concerned that you’re making the right choice for YOU at that time in your life,” she says. “They are very concerned with making sure that it’s the right decision for you and for your baby.”

Lindsay recalls being up late one night trying to find the Bible verse stating, “You knit me together in my mother’s womb” and “being fearfully and wonderfully made.”

“I just very much believed that the child inside of me was a living human being and that God had a plan for her,” Lindsay states. “One of the best decisions I made was to keep my ultrasound appointment.”

Like many parents, she feels that moment will never be forgotten.

“My decision not to have an abortion and to continue exploring an adoption plan came that day, when I saw her for the first time,” says Lindsay. “I really just put my trust in God, not knowing how things were going to work out, but just knowing that He would take care of us.”

That faith was put to the test when she returned home from work one evening.

“Because I decided not to have an abortion…all of my belongings were loaded onto a moving van,” Lindsay says. “I was taken to the bus station and put on a bus back to Michigan.”

That’s where she met her Adoption Associates contact, Nancy, and the family who would adopt her little girl.

“They had never met me, but they were just very concerned about my well-being and that I was going to be safe, and [they] just really supported me in my choice of choosing life,” says Lindsay.

“In Psalm 139, it talks about how the plan for our lives is written before we’re even born, and…through choosing an adoption plan, I was choosing what I thought was best for [my daughter],” she continues. “It’s just an amazing, empowering decision that you get to make for a child.”

It’s a choice she wants more people to know about.

“Often when an unplanned pregnancy is experienced, people will think ‘Okay, I either have to figure out a way to do this,’ or they also think of having an abortion,” says Lindsay. “It’s just so important to get the message out there that adoption is a choice.”

On August 31, Adoption Associates is doing just that through a 5K fundraiser. The second annual TOUCHED BY ADOPTION 5K will be held in Portland, Michigan, with support going to Adoption Associates’ domestic and international initiatives. Pray that God is honored through this event.

Lindsay’s decision to participate came before her daughter was even born.

“There are so many stereotypes and mistruths that are out there about birth mothers, and I just want to educate people and let people know we are real women from every walk of life,” she says. “I want people to know [there are] two sides [of adoption].”

Sign up for the TOUCHED BY ADOPTION 5K here.

* Full name changed for privacy

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